Conquer Negativity and Restore A Positive Mindset

Inside: Why Mindset and Emotional Well Being go hand in hand. 
Disclaimer: We use affiliate links, which means when you click on a link, we might get a commission. Thanks for your support. 

Mindset is like my son's baseball pants. It's so easy for those things to get dirty.
They're nice and pristine white.
Why would a team decide to give a bunch of five-year-old boys white pants is BEYOND me.

They get smudged pretty quickly and easily. My son always tossing the red clay dirt on himself whenever they have a game. It makes him happy, so I don't mind much.

The first time I brought his pants home to clean them, I threw them in the washer and didn't think anything of it.

When they came out of the dryer, they were still that reddish brown color, not white at all.


What is Mindset?

Mindset is a set of attitudes held by someone, or the way they feel about things.

So easy to tarnish.
And we happily destroy our mindset, just like my son happily throws dirt on his beautiful new pants.

Just like my son though, we don't mean to destroy it, we are just doing what makes us happy, or fulfills our current need.

Mindset controls our perspective.
As a military spouse, I see it all the time with spouses.

"Ew. We are getting sent to Norfolk. I'm going to hate it."

Spoiler: Those people DID hate it. Then went into it with a bad attitude, and hated every second of it.

They were miserable and unhappy the entire time they were there, and lots of them even ended up in divorce because they couldn't come to terms with living someplace their spouse was required to live.

Think about it. If you go into this inevitable situation thinking:

"I'm so excited. I've never been to Virginia before, and I hear the beaches are amazing."

You're going to love it.

If both spouses end up in the same situation they're going to see things a lot differently, too.



Say they go to a grocery store, and they don't have the coffee brand they like. Spouse one is likely to blame their situation:

"Of COURSE Virginia doesn't have my Peet's Coffee! It's so terrible here, I can't wait to leave!"

Spouse two will likely have a different response:

"Man. This store doesn't have Peet's. What is this Kroger brand? Kona? This looks promising!"

Can you see the difference?

PerspectiveMindset.


The first spouse has been throwing dirt on the clean white pants this whole time.
Nothing will ever be good enough, because they've already decided this.

The second spouse might not have loved the idea of moving away from their hometown to a weird little apartment complex in Virginia, but she found happiness, anyway. Her life threw dirt on her white pants, so she used extra detergent, and she got those things clean.

Mindset directly affects your emotional well-being. You wouldn't think they'd be connected
but when negative thoughts and emotions creep their way in, they affect your whole perspective.

This can wreck your mental clarity, your view of the world, and your nice clean white pants.
When you allow yourself to maintain a positive mindset, you can rewire your brain to be happier, more content, improve your outlook, quality of life and keep those pants clean.

All it takes is some extra detergent.

Negativity is Dirty.

We have all had the mornings where we didn't want to get out of bed. Your little was up all night, or your spouse has to get up TOO early, and you just binge watched Amazon Prime shows all night.

On top of that, you have a dentist appointment, you have to run to the store,
and you hear your dog puking in the hallway.

It's downhill from there. By thinking about how awful your day is going to be, you're inviting that negativity in to stay for a while. You're rubbing that red clay dirt into your pants.

You think the day is going to be bad, so it is.

The children nag you for yogurt even though you didn't buy any yet (it's grocery day!)
Your spouse tells you today is a late day.
Every step you take your view gets a little more shrouded in negativity until you fall apart.

You find yourself stuck in the middle of a dark forest without a path out.



Once you're there, it's easy to stick around, because you don't know how to leave.
This can lead to irrational thinking, a lack of confidence, and unhealthy self-talk
-- I'm a horrible mother.

This downward spiral affects so much of your life. Most importantly, your mental health.

Think about what negativity brings with it.
Stress.
Anxiety.
Conflict.
Lack of motivation.
Depression.

The list goes on, but the main point here is your quality of life is more important than
those negative feelings.

When you choose to refrain from negativity in unexpected events -- such as orders in a military life -- you'll reinforce those pathways in your brain.

Meaning you'll have more control over your knee jerk reactions, and you'll be able to look at a situation with a positive perspective, no matter what it is.

It will change your life.

A positive mindset can be the most important thing you ever give yourself.
As humans, it's easy to dwell on the bad feelings. Being miserable is easy, but happiness takes work.

Just like those white pants.
With a little extra detergent and the right settings, you'll keep those pants white.

No one can keep their pants white 100% of the time.


You'll need to wash them because life happens. But when you know the right way to get them back to clean, you won't worry when a little dirt gets on them.



How To Create a Memorable Father's Day Gift for Your Husband

Father's Day is just around the corner, and every year we put together something last minute for my husband, and every year I feel like he's disappointed.



Some years we spend a lot of money. We would buy things like drills, workbenches, or grills.

Other years we spend a small amount and DIY a lot. 

My husband doesn't like all the things society tells us Dads should want for Father's Day. He doesn't wear a suit to work, so no ties. He doesn't BBQ every weekend, or spend all day watching football.

What the heck should we do?

Well, I spent a lot of time brainstorming.

I thought about what he would love, and what he would use, and I decided to create a fun gift basket of things I thought he would appreciate and love. Most importantly, gifts that were practical. 

First, I put together a little printable "all about my dad" to have my children complete. You can access it here, just put in your email. 

Next, I scoured everything on the Internet to find SOMETHING he would love. 

I found a few things I think most Dads out there will appreciate, without being those typical normal Dad gifts. 


Excuse me? Socks?
My husband loves practical gifts. If he can use it, its a great gift. 

I stole this idea from him a few years ago, he bought me socks with our favorite golden, Anchovy, on it. It's such a great gift, and men love socks. You can get these on Amazon and still personalize them. How awesome is that?



2. Audiobook Subscriptions

We never have time to read in this house, but it's always been important to be informed.

We also love reading audiobooks together, because then we can talk about them and enjoy them. Each evening we make dinner together and listen to audiobooks.

Currently, we are reading some suspense books, but now that Game of Thrones has ended, we plan to read those books together too. It should be a nice year-long adventure (because they're like 5,000 pages a piece haha)

3. Free HBO For a Month

Speaking of Game of Thrones, have you seen it? It just wrapped up, so if you want to see it . . . get a free month of HBO and binge watch it. I truly loved watching it. The story is so deep and rich, and there are so many colorful characters, and hilarious and heartwarming situations, as well as gut-wrenching and shockingly horrific.

If you're open to watching it, it's available from HBO right now. Get that free month to stream on Amazon, and you can cancel anytime.

Did you hear that? Watch Game of Thrones for free. See what the fuss is about!

Sign up for free here!

4. Lego Sets to Complete with Their Children

Watching my children diligently finding pieces and helping put together a fun Lego playland is one of my favorite things to do as a mother. I love when they proudly bring me their creation and tell me they made it.

It's a no brainer that we included a set in his gift basket! 


5. Manly Soap

Can soap be manly?
I suppose it could try.

This brand has scents like "Victory" and "Naval Supremacy", and smells like Ocean!

The bar of soap is also huge because it's supposed to be similar to the large bars of soap they gave the military members in WWII. Yay American history!



What is a super successful gift you have given?

Magnesium and Mental Health. Everything You Need to Know

My hands got sweaty, and I could feel the panic creeping up my neck.

It's silly to think about it now because I wasn't in any danger.
A friend of mine was telling me about how her husband was going on a business trip and would be gone for four days, and she was feeling a little stressed out, but it wasn't something a little magnesium couldn't fix.

What is magnesium?
Helps your stress??

We were at our five-year-old's mutual friend's birthday party so I couldn't grill her for an explanation then . . . but you can bet I went home and looked it up.

We use affiliate links here. That means if you click our links and make a purchase we receive a small commission. It costs you nothing, but it gives me a little compensation for all the work I put in here. Thank you! 

I found thousands of articles, studies, and Pinterest pins about magnesium and it's benefits.

I bought some that day on Amazon, and I tried it that weekend. Thanks, two-day shipping!

It changed my life.
I always feel silly saying things like that, but really, it was incredible.

Then I thought about how YOU might not know about magnesium, just like I didn't.
Who am I to keep all of this to myself?

I decided it was time for another ultimate guide.
There isn't a big guide about the benefits for mental health which I found disappointing, so I put one together for us.

If you have a question answered here, please feel free to comment below, and I will add it on for the next reader.



What is Magnesium?


Magnesium is an essential mineral for bone growth and health, which aids in creating blood cells, possibly the most important thing in your body. It's important for getting oxygen to your cells, protein creation, and the energy your body runs on.

It's also important for activating your B-vitamins, an important brain health supplement.
Lastly, magnesium is essential for insulin use in your body.

It's kind of a big deal, don't you think?

Sadly, with convenience foods being so prevalent, most diets don't have enough magnesium anymore. The processing of the majority of foods eliminates magnesium.



What Food is Highest in Magnesium?

You'll have to add more whole foods to your diet to get magnesium without supplements. The best way to remember where to get magnesium is to associate it with fiber.

Foods high in fiber tend to also be high in magnesium.

So, what food is best?
Organic Greens.
As raw as you can.

Any processing will reduce magnesium. What is processing? Heating, reheating, or milling.
This strips all the good vitamins and minerals present in the rawest forms.

Other great forms of magnesium are nuts, seeds, and beans.

Oftentimes, our diet isn't enough. Our body uses a LOT of magnesium every day, usually around 300mg a day in ideal conditions.
Stress, sweating, or exertion causes you to use it up quicker than normal.

How do you know if you're not getting enough?

What are the symptoms of a Magnesium Deficiency?

You know now that Magnesium is responsible for around 300 different processes in your body, and it's so necessary for everyday life, it's insane to think most people don't know about it.
How will you know if you don't have enough?
There are so many symptoms you probably already have, and can't explain. Forgetfulness, for example.
I can forget literally anything that's not written down. Sometimes I write things down and I forget that I wrote it down, and still end up forgetting it.
I was saying something here, what was it?
Ah yes, problems with cognition.

Problems with Cognition

A magnesium deficiency can result in cognitive difficulties, such as brain fog, memory problems and difficulty concentrating.

Also known as being a mom.
A lot of people call this "pregnancy brain".




Magnesium plays a big role in your mitochondria function, which means it helps with producing energy for your body. Without proper magnesium, the mitochondria in your brain cells will have trouble producing the energy necessary for powering your thinking processes.

Headaches and Migraines

I come from a long line of chronic headache sufferers.

I remember my mother being unable to leave a dark room some days because the pain was so intense. My headaches are not as bad or life stopping, but still annoying. When I found out magnesium could reduce or eliminate them, I was so excited to add it into my diet.

Studies have shown that people who get migraines tend to have lower levels of magnesium.


If you find yourself suffering from chronic headaches, maybe low magnesium is the reason.

Constipation

Low magnesium can often lead to stretches of constipation.

Magnesium works to keep you regular in a couple of ways.

The first is drawing water into the intestines, as magnesium is a salt. Magnesium keeps your stool soft for an easier time going to the bathroom.

The second way it helps digestions is it keeps the muscle contractions in your intestines regulated and working normally.

Muscle Cramps and Spasms

Magnesium is essential in supporting your muscles, so missing that key nutrient can lead to painful muscle cramps or spasms.


Switching between contracting and relaxing is difficult without magnesium, so when you're low it becomes uncoordinated.


Muscle spasms are an early tell tale sign of a magnesium deficiency and are most often felt in the legs.




What Does a Magnesium Supplement Do?

Magnesium is the fourth most abundant mineral in your body. 

It helps your body create new blood, keeps your bones healthy, and can even help with PMS and maintaining your mental health. 

That's all great, but if you google "magnesium supplement", there are about 106,000,000 results. 

Oh my. 
So what do you need to get?

What is the Best Magnesium Supplement?

Hello, loaded question. 

There are several different kinds, let's break them down. 
Some types are better for different usages.
They are classified by the way they are harvested and what they're mixed with. 

You want what is best for you.

There are several types of magnesium and out of those various types of magnesium, a few of the most popular are magnesium oxide, magnesium malate, magnesium threonate, and magnesium sulfate.


Magnesium Oxide

Magnesium oxide is available over the counter and is effective for those with constipation, high blood pressure, menstrual cramps, and asthma.
It's a little more difficult for our bodies to digest, so it's not very recommended.

If you're looking for the best option of magnesium, I don't think this is it. 
If you're looking for the least expensive and most readily available, this is your jam.

It's best known for it's relaxing benefits as well as relieving constipation.

Magnesium oxide supplements can be found in most over the counter multivitamins and as a stand-alone supplement.

Here a few different options for magnesium oxide:




Magnesium Threonate

Magnesium Threonate is useful for your brain health.

It's even sometimes called "brain magnesium". It can cross your blood-brain barrier, so it can bring magnesium directly to your brain.
It helps with learning disabilities, as well as memory loss.

It also helps improve energy levels when awake and helps encourage comfortable and more restful sleep.

Here are a few options for buying magnesium threonate:




Magnesium Malate

This type of magnesium is combined with malic acid, which is found in many fruits, like berries and oranges.

Magnesium Malate is used to improve energy levels and decrease muscle pain from nervous system diseases like multiple sclerosis or fibromyalgia.

Magnesium Malate is also over the counter, here are a few options.




Magnesium Sulfate

This might just blow your mind. 
So. 

You can absorb magnesium through your skin in the bath. 

Do you know how?

Epsom salt. 

WHAT?
Oh yeah. Epsom salt is magnesium sulfate. 

You can dump it in your bath, you can put it in your homemade bath bombs. You can take a bath every day, and get your daily supplement of magnesium. 

Isn't that amazing?!

Here are a few of my favorite Epsom salts. I go through a lot:



The benefit of magnesium sulfate is the absorption rate.
No other magnesium will absorb as quickly.

Another great reason to love magnesium sulfate is its versatility. You can mix epsom salt into endless DIY Bath Bomb Recipes (here is a great bath bomb recipe). There are so many different add-ins to make every bath a new experience.

Magnesium is so essential for everyday life functions.
Whatever symptoms you're feeling today, the most important thing is you are taking steps to feel better.
Any step you take now will be a step in the right direction.

Please subscribe to my newsletter to receive updates about posts like this, about mental health, anxiety, productivity, and raising siblings





Is It Anxiety, Or Am I Just Overthinking?

I felt the blood rushing to my head. 
My neck felt pins and needles, and I was feeling like my loose tee shirt was too warm. 

Do you think you have social anxiety? Find out the signs by clicking here
It was my first time entering a store I'd never been to before, and I didn't know what to expect. 
There was a water fountain at the entrance, and I wasn't sure if that meant I should have a drink, or if I was allowed to give some to my son. 

Then he began screaming. 
He too saw the water and insisted on drinking it. 

What if he spills it?
What if I spill it?
What if he spills it on something, and it's a $400 painting. 

My hands are sweating. 
My heart is racing. 
My child is crying and tears well up in my eyes too. 

I'm overthinking. 

The fear-filled emotions and negative feelings anxiety forces into your brain is the root of all of it. 
They're linked for sure, but overthinking is absolutely not social anxiety. Let's walk through it together. 




Shyness and Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is pretty all-encompassing. There are a lot of symptoms of social anxiety, but each of those symptoms on their own is not social anxiety. 

First, we will talk about shyness. 

You can be shy, or suffer from shyness and social anxiety but they can also happen separately. The difference is a bit tricky. Shyness is more about being and feeling vulnerable around new people and eventually opening up. Or you could feel fine being around people, but you don't have to talk to them. 

Anxiety is fear. Social interactions are hard, even something as simple as asking if the water at the front of the store is for everyone. With social anxiety, it's not talking to people it's being around them at all. 

What is Overthinking?

It's incredibly common to have social anxiety and overthink. I would even say most people with social anxiety do overthink. 

Some people overthink things but can calm themselves down enough to handle social situations. 

With anxiety, it's much more difficult to handle even if you aren't overthinking too much. Your thoughts get the better of you with overthinking and you get wrapped up in what could happen and then those feelings lead you down the anxiety rabbit hole. 

When you can identify how it's starting, you can find a way to reduce your anxiety




How Anxiety and Overthinking Can Be Related

Overthinking can lead to worsened social anxiety symptoms so easily. This generalized fear of being around large groups of people can be exacerbated quickly with this overthinking mindset. Worrying about what others say, think, or do can be debilitating. This is where panic attacks start. 

I like to take deep breaths and try to ground myself to the situation. 
This works sometimes. 

At the store that day, I focused on my son and repeating his feelings back to him. He simply wanted to be in the cart, and I was asking him to walk.

By focusing on the things you have control over you have a much better chance of working through it. 

On days when it's too much, it's okay to walk right out of that store and return another day. 

What ways do you overthink?

You Don't Have to Struggle to Make Decisions Anymore

inside: Make It A Habit – The Benefit Of A Routine & Habit Filled Day 




It's 4pm. I have no idea what to cook for dinner, or if tonight should be bath night. 
The little one is stinky, but he's always stinky. And sticky. 

My feet ache from carting children around, and I just want to sit down and zone out on my phone. 

I'm tired of all the decisions I've made today, and I don't want to make any more. 

Disconnecting from my life and my responsibilities appear to be the easiest path. 
My brain is exhausted from all this decision-ing. 

Did you know that's common? Because I didn't. 




We have a limited amount of willpower every day to make decisions, and at the end of the day, our brains are like puddles on the floor because of all the work they've done today. 

No wonder deciding what movie to watch on Netflix is so difficult. 

There IS a way around this. 
Habits and routines. 

Just think: If you don't have to decide whether to make coffee before or after dropping off your children at school, that's another decision you can use later. 

This knowledge can help you prioritize. If you want to cut out a lot of the decision making in your day, implement habits and routines so you can save your decisions for the important stuff (like watching Game of Thrones or that new "Lorena" special on Amazon Prime). 

You can free up your brain space for important things.

Routines are a great tool that encourages simplification of our lives and cuts out so much daily stress.

We all already have a morning routine. Get up, get coffee, read the paper or check our email and stumbling into the shower before hastily getting dressed and running out the door. Hopefully, we don't forget anything important!

Related: How To Create the Perfect Morning Routine For Your Life.

Let's make your day better by planning it out.

If you create a "uniform" for yourself, you don't have to think about what to wear. You just grab a pair of pants and a shirt and whatever else and off you go. draw diagrams of the outfits you'd like to wear and put them up in your closet or fold those clothes together so you know your favorite outfits is always together.



Implement routines whenever you possibly can.
Meal planning is such an amazing tool for reducing everyday stress.
It helps you know what to buy at the grocery store -- saving you money and helps you know exactly what to pull out of the fridge and cook every evening.

A cleaning schedule ensures you stay on track with your household chores without wasting time deciding what to clean today.

I even go as far as to have a laundry schedule. Each day is a different type of laundry, and diapers always have priority over all. This way we don't run out of underwear, jeans, or someone's very favorite PJ Mask pajamas.

Wrapping your day up with a great bedtime routine will help you make the best decisions when you're tired and fall asleep easier.

Those articles you read about getting your toddler to sleep?
They work for you too.



Deciding to brush teeth, moisturize your skin and rub some Magnesium on your legs and feet before bed will help you sleep soundly. I've linked what I personally use above, but you can also click here.

I always start by completing a few chores to make my morning easier.
I have a certain counter I use all morning, and it brings me a lot of joy to start my day with it already cleaned off and ready for me to make lunches on.

Another great example is making sure everyone has all their school things ready. Do they need to bring their library book back? Make sure it's in their backpack for them.

Sit down with a pen and paper and think about what parts of your day and week you can turn into routines and habits. Write them all down and create daily to-do lists for yourself until you've established these new habits and routines.



I love lists, we have them all over the house. 

Spending time creating routines and habits will make your day run smoother. You'll also reduce your stress and get so much more done during your productive hours. 

So go ahead, give that little stinky one a bath, and decide what days to give him a bath each week so you won't have to face this stress anymore. 


Search This Blog

Powered by Blogger.